Sunday Brain Vomit 2.0

So.

Everyone in the world seems to be watching the Superbowl.

You know. 'Cept me.

I'm not a follower - I make my own path.

Well - that, and I just don't GET football. And I never have.

One year I went to a Superbowl party...Mostly because I had a crush on the boy who was hosting it. I then realised that even getting to sit beside said boy on the couch wasn't worth sitting through a game that you didn't understand. ESPECIALLY when said boy turned out to be a doofus.

But the food. That was good. I like the food.

Everyone also talks about the commercials - but the (ONE) downfall of being Canadian..is that we don't get to see the commercials until they're leaked online. Something about copyright BLAH BLAH BLAH. So it's not even like I can sit through the game and be mildly entertained during the commercials - you know, the opposite of what TV (usually) is. So we just get generally the same craptacular commercials that don't lead you to debate whether you should sit through the commercials, miss the game or get a bladder infection. We Canadians just don't know where it's at it seems.

But. I have been watching way too much TLC today. Which has just been marathons of Toddlers and Tiaras. Which can I just mention is BAT SHIT CRAZY. Like, I've really been so disturbed, that I've been sitting here wondering what the heck is going on the entire time. And sitting here with my mouth wide open going ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? SERIOUSLY?!

And then telling anyone that would listen that I really cannot believe this stuff.

But then I saw a commercial for some show about balloons or something, that as sad as it is, THAT actually disturbed me more.

Seriously folks. I HATE balloons. Like, almost as much as I hate cucumbers. Which is A LOT.

It all stems from a traumatic balloon popping incident when I was 18 that left me scared and the lense of my eye scarred.

I also got to wear an eye patch for a week.

Which I don't know if you know this, but when you're 18 and in your first year of university - that's what EVERY guy is looking for. A girl who can barely walk because she only can see out of one eye because her other has an eyepatch. Sad part was, it happened at a birthday party JUST after halloween. Fail.

So where was I?

Oh right. Pirates.

So we have an African Grey parrot in the house - and he's pretty freakin' hilarious.

(Pirates have parrots on their shoulders - see the connection? THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN DOES, PEOPLE.)

So yeah. He likes to make LOTS of sounds, and has certain things that he says all of the time. He says hello when the phone rings, or goodbye if someone leaves the room and has a few other things he says, along with some random gibberish. If he sees my car backing out of the driveway, he'll say "Erin's going to work!" and when I pull INTO the driveway he says "ERIN'S HOME!" and the dogs run downstairs and start going NUTSO. He also knows his address, and when my cousin comes home from Boston he starts going "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!" "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" and when the phone rings he goes "Hello? Mmhmm. Mhmmm. Okay. Okay. Ican'ttalkrightnow Okay. Bye Byebye BYE" and then makes a clicking noise in the back of his throat.

Awesome. No?

You want examples of MORE awesome?

Okay.

So he also likes to stand at the window and talk to people who go for walks. If they're female, he CATCALLS at them. Like full out, as if he's a construction worker that has been drinking before noon who use to be a sailor who hasn't seen women in a decade or two.

It's hilarious. Especially when people who don't know that we have a parrot walk by. The looks on their faces as they try to figure out what is going on, who is whistling at them and where it's coming from is kind of amusing. Kind of A LOT amusing. They look half amused, half horrified and half wondering what kind of world they've been transported to.

Yeah. SO CONFUSED THAT THERE ARE THREE HALVES. Nuts eh?

So, speaking of amusing...did you know that I am? I wasn't so sure, but then every time that I walked into the room today...The babe started giggling like the funniest thing that had EVER happened to him was happening. Even when I did nothing but stand there. We were all a little bit baffled, but I figured - hey, I'm awesome - he just knows how funny I am.

That, or I'm just funny looking.

Whatever..I'll take it.

Baby giggles are mad cute, yo.

And on that note...my brain has nothing else to offer up.

So I give you this.

Which may make you OD on cuteness.

Or maybe that's just me.

Nah. Can't be. That's way too much cute.

And in my HUMBLE opinion, way better then the silly superbowl ANYWAY.

Which if I understand correctly - doesn't even have any sort of chips, chocolate or other forms of junkfood in it.

Which is basically the worst kind of bowl..EVER.